


Dr McKay Deconstructs Semi-Pro

by rentgirl2



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, McShep - Freeform, Movie Review--SGA Style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2012-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-09 23:11:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rentgirl2/pseuds/rentgirl2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission gone wrong, a bad movie choice and Will Farrell learns when it come to Rodney McKay, you'd better not mess with his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dr McKay Deconstructs Semi-Pro

The mission had been, as so many before, a disaster from the word go.

It has started with bickering in the gateroom and ended with dragging a wounded Sheppard into the puddlejumper. They vowed never to speak of it again.

Keller put a few stitches in Sheppard's arm while McKay put a bug in Carter's ear. "We need a couple of days," he told her.

"A couple of days?"

"Yes, yes. Earth. A couple of days." Rodney crossed his arms, ready to stare her down. "No stress. Lots of lounging. Food. Television."

Carter nodded her head. "Go, McKay."

Sheppard barely had time to change out of his blood-splattered uniform before Rodney hustled him to the gateroom, through Stargate command, out of Cheyenne Mountain and into a crappy Motel 6.

"Motel 6?" John asked, more curious than protesting.

"Take out delivery central," Rodney admitted, flipping on the television with the remote with one hand and dialing for Thai with the other.

By the second day of sleeping, gorging, fucking and watching ESPN, John looked a little more like himself and a little less like a picture from a "Don't Let Your Teenager Become a Cutter" pamphlet.

"How about a movie?" Rodney asked, glancing at the newspaper he'd had delivered with omelets and waffles earlier. "Will Ferrell's got a new one. _Semi-Pro_."

John scratched at the drying come on his thigh. "Will Ferrell?"

"Yes. You remember, _Blades of Glory_? You made us all watch it a couple of weeks ago. Ronon thought it was a combat movie?"

Laughing, John stood up. "Right. That was pretty funny."

"Humph," Rodney said, making a mental note of the show times. "I thought you enjoyed it most for the _fabulous_ hairstyles."

They called for a cab, stopped for tacos and two hours later, ended up at the MegaPlex. In the beginning, Rodney had high hopes. Ferrell belted out a wonderfully terrible song, "Love Me Sexy." John laughed out loud and, in the cool darkness of the theater, threaded his fingers through Rodney's.

Unfortunately, the first five minutes were the only funny ones.

Thirty minutes into the film, an unfunny game of Russian Roulette, far, far too similar to the unspeakable incidents of the last mission, pushed John over the edge. He froze next to Rodney, an animal-like whimper the only sound he could make.

Rodney gathered him close and hurried him out of the theater and back to their hotel room. "It's okay, John," he murmured in the taxi. John ignored him, staring out into the twilight.

Rodney hadn't finished shutting the room door closed behind him before John jumped him. John pushed and tugged at their clothes and pulled them both onto the bed. He fucked Rodney with a desperation that almost broke his heart.

Later, when John finally slept, Rodney pulled out his laptop. Will Ferrell was going to pay for messing with his boyfriend.

John woke up around noon the next day, his skin taut and pale but his eyes clear. "You ready to head back, Rodney?"

"If you are."

"I'm good. Hey, I appreciate you trying to... well, you know... fix stuff."

"That's what I'm here for," Rodney said, affection bright in his voice as he hit the enter key.

That night, long after they'd both had fallen asleep in Rodney's quarters in Atlantis, things began to change for Will Ferrell. His bank accounts were frozen, his security system wouldn't let him out of his house, his car doors were permanently locked, his "long forgotten" arrest warrants graced the cover of Star magazine, his phone numbers and email passwords appeared on chatline commercials.

Rodney McKay was very good at fixing things.  
~fin~

**Author's Note:**

>  **gothphyle** and I went to see Will Ferrell's movie _Semi-Pro_ a couple of years ago. We didn't make it to the end. Two cups of coffee and a pack of 100 calorie Lorna Doones later, we were no closer to making sense of the entire ordeal. We comforted ourselves in the only way we knew how--we rewrote the evening as a SGA AU.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Semi-Pegasus (a Movie Review, SGA-style)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/457533) by [gothphyle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothphyle/pseuds/gothphyle)




End file.
